All characters, artwork and materials ©2006 Scott Alton-Thomas Burns. All rights reserved.

 

 

The Official Rocket Science website!

This is a webcomic. It doesn’t involve actual rockets… yet. Embrace the ridiculous!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Introduction

Columbian High. I kid you not. It didn't have those implications back then, but by the mid 70's it was REALLY appropriate. Not so the local bowling alley, "Gay Lanes". Score so far on self-fulfilling prophecies: 50%.

One is always tempted to spell one's name phonetically when people get it wrong all the time. But this never works, there are more ways to misunderstand than there are to understand. You spell it "KeerE.A." and people say "Korea? You don't LOOK Korean..." For years I thought the candy bar was "Three Muskeeters" and I always wondered about those hairy looking mosquitoes on the wrapper.

Y'all DO know that the "Vapors" that southern belles are referring to are those methane vapors that emanate from your ass, right? I always figured something ethereal that offended their Princess and the Pea sensibilities and forced them to withdraw from crude human society. Little did I know it was more Larry the Cable Guy than Melanie Wilkes. Note to all the Mammonite Christian wannabes out there: Real Christianity is also REALLY HARD. Much harder than being Vegan. I have watched you all and found you wanting.

Savannah may be our narrator, but Gabby is our star... for now. Ethics, schmethics, that's what I always say.

Note from the male perspective: There is no such thing as a gratuitous butt shot.

Nothing like that IQ thing to bring ALL your missing pieces right into the foreground, like a Bob Ross painting: "And let's just add a happy little Obsessive Compulsive Disorder right about... here..."

Blood Will Out

Mr. Johnson gets the entire year's course material in the first two weeks to allow himself room to breathe a little. Note: Corel Paint has some really cool effects available. This hair is not one of them. I never did get where I liked what I was doing with this program.

His photogray lenses keep you from seeing the wink, but you can still HEAR it.

 

Imaginary Lions

NEVER fall asleep with your friends around. I'm betting you already know this.

Heath: Wherever you are, man, she didn't mean it.

Imaginary lions are more dangerous than real ones. Real ones live in Africa. Imaginary lions live in your closet, and you will crash your car or fall down the stairs worrying about them.

Consequences

Baby Soup

I had a detailed explanation prepared for Savannah when it came time to tell her about sex. I was going to refer to "Baby Soup"; a series of ingredients, temperatures, stirrings and sequences that would go together to make a special soup that would turn into a baby. Luckily she learned all this stuff on her own long before I got a chance to deliver this speech. Chia pet indeed.

The Twitchy Wiccans, with their hit song "Mosh For Jesus". They are the musical version of a "copy book". You can't buy their album; you have to find it lying about.

 

Shredding the Constitution chapter 2

 

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